Thursday, August 18, 2016


The last few weeks we have really struggled with many areas: eating, sleeping, listening, obeying, name, and we have struggled this summer. It has been a very trying time in my life as a mom. Though it's not the first, and I know not the last, it has worn me out. And I'm tired. And I could not wait for school start for Jaxen - really, just so I could have a break. 

Then I started getting paperwork in the mail, for Jaxen’s new school. Even though I have been in the mode of registering him for school since April (literally, getting everything setup with the school and his therapys has been a part time job in itself)  it is real now. 

In just a little less than 3 weeks Jaxen will start school. Yes, it’s only Preschool…but really, there does not seem to be much difference. We will drop him off at school 5 days a week and he will walk into his classroom by himself (parents can only walk their kids to their rooms the first week) and I will not see him again until mid-afternoon. Every day I will get him up and dressed and out the door with his backpack and lunch and send him into the world. And not only does it make me sad that we won't be able to lay in bed and watch Paw Patrol if we want, it also scares me that he is entering this new world of his without me by his side.

I have to let go. And with a whole lot of prayer, I'm preparing myself to do just that. 

So with these last few days left, I am slowing down a bit. I am trying to be more patient, let Jaxen help out even when I would rather not, have family games of Candy Land at lunchtime, lay down and nap with him and enjoy the constant noise and sometimes frustration that is Jaxen right now. I know I will miss it and him more than I even realize. He has been my buddy, my side kick for the last 4 years. That's going to be hard to let go of. 

Good thing I have this little guy! 

I am really looking forward to the one on one time I will have with him and making the same kind of memories with Zane that I have with Jaxen. 

Even Zane will miss Jaxen!

Jaxen had to come check on Zane when he woke up this morning.
Climbed in his crib and told his brother good morning and asked how he slept last night :)

It's a new day...

And right now I am buried (again) in paperwork and getting myself geared up for the start of school!

I am excited for Jaxen. I think he will do really well in school. I think this is where he needs to be this year. I have started talking to Jaxen about school. He knows when summer is over - school starts. And he will have a new teacher and will have to make new friends. He told me today that he will have a “new Leah”. Leah is his friend from Watertown. Apparently she is replaceable (don’t tell her - haha) and he will just find a new one! I hope it’s that easy!

The awesome rainbow outside of our house last night.

And the night sky did not disappoint!

While watching the Olympics last night (see the cool shot I got of the tv?)
Zane fell asleep.

Cute boy!

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