Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Going Home from the Hospital

Going home from the hospital was actually a bit hectic! We were not really sure when they would release us, until late Tuesday morning. That is when they said we could go home on Wednesday. So Wednesday morning rolls around and we are hanging out, relaxing. There were a few different people coming in and out of the room checking on things and there were a few different nurses coming in and out...but no one was super clear with us about being released. Then, finally, one nurse told us we would be released at 11am. It was 10am. Sounds good in theory... But I still wanted to get showered, we had our things to pack up, I needed to nurse again and we needed to get Jaxen there!

We decided that Jaxen should be a part of "going home". It was important to us that he be a part of the journey of us leaving the hospital and going to the house the first time with Zane. So needless to say, that hour went fast and they were ready for us to go before we were! Haha. 

We finally got everything signed and packed and literally peeled Jaxen off the walls (he was so hyper and into everything by that point). My friend who dropped Jaxen off offered to get a pic of us before we left. It's not the best picture, but I'm glad we have it! 

Once we were home, things calmed down a bit... But it still seemed hectic to adjust to being home and even figuring out the small getting a burp rag, or blanket or where do we set Zane so J won't accidentally hurt him?!? I spent the first hour probably, getting "stations" ready to go. We needed 2 of sets of stuff. One upstairs (in our room) and one downstairs. Stuff included: what we needed to change diapers, a few different clothes, blankets, and even a comfortable area to nurse - all ready where I didn't have to search for something (or run up and down stairs) every time I needed something! 

And we were also trying to eat, and Jaxen wanted to be close to Zane and it was nap time and Nik had to run to the store for a few important things that were needed. So - hectic! 

But wonderful at the same time :)

I was exhausted though, and laid down to nap while both boys napped. When Jaxen woke up, all he wanted to do was lay with his momma. I'm so glad he did. I think he missed me - and I know I missed him! So we had some sweet bonding that afternoon, laying in bed.

Nik and I each had different moments of overwhelming joy and "realness" that first day. For Nik, it was sitting in his recliner, holding both of his sons. A sweet moment for him. For me, it was all of us gathered in Jaxen’s room for night-night routine. My little family of four!

We are slowly adjusting to eating / sleeping and awake times. The first couple of nights home, Zane wanted to eat every hour (or more) for a few hours each night (in the middle of the night). So we are slowly adjusting those "cluster feedings" to earlier in the evening. And each night is a bit better than the one previous! All other times, he is eating every 2 - 2 1/2 hours. And once in the night I let him go about 4 hours in between feedings. I am also working on keeping him awake more in the evening, which has helped. Basically, I'm training him to learn his days and nights. Haha! But overall, it is going really well. I keep reminding myself that we are both learning and we will get it figured out. That helps me to be patient through the hard moments! 

We are finding a good balance with Jaxen as well. At first, I found myself wanting to give into everything he wanted because I wanted him to feel loved and not replaced. But I soon realized he needs structure and discipline and consistency! So we are working on a balance. There are times we are more leanient, but for the most part, I'm trying to not treat him much different nor let him get away with things. I think that will be best in the long run :)

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