This past Saturday we had a Rummage Sale, which went well, but it was a lot of work. And we did not have our normal volunteers like past times. So, mostly it was up to Nik and myself to get it set-up, ran and cleaned-up. Basically - we are tired and worn out.
Wednesday night at church, Jaxen had a meltdown in the nursery and they had to come get me. I'm not sure what that was all about, but it was okay. I took him home, bathed him, fed him and put him to bed. All better. Thursday night, while we were working at the Rummage Sale, he would only sleep with me holding him. Every time I put him down he would wake up and scream. So - I held a sleeping baby while working with teenagers (mid-schoolers) to clean, price and set out items. If you have never done that - I don't recommend it. That's all I'm saying.
I had a small meltdown that night. This whole "mom-thing" is still new. I am still figuring out how to be a mom, a wife, and the spouse of someone in ministry. I am used to giving 100% to whatever I am doing. But how do you do that when you have a gym full of items to be priced and put away, a baby who is tired and crying, a husband that is out on a pick-up (for the rummage sale) and mid-schoolers who can't focus long enough to remember which table to put an item on once it is priced????
The answer - and what I'm learning is... you don't. You can't. And that's where I'm at. Figuring this all out.
Friday night we did it again. Nik had another obligation. And Jaxen and I decided we just had to power through! I loaded him up, went to the gym and did what I could do. I met all his needs and what was left of me, I gave to the Rummage Sale. Thankfully, some people showed up to help out (Adults, not mid-schoolers). We had a fairly good night and by 9:30pm - I called it good and went home. There was definitely more I wanted to do. But my boy needed his bed. He had had enough of the Rummage Sale for one day.
Saturday was the actual sale. It went well. Jaxen hung out with me in the morning and we had fun. When it was time to eat or nap or a diaper change we went into a room (all by ourselves) and I took care of him. I dropped everything else and tended to him. During nap time, I set up his sleeper in a room and brought his monitor from home. He slept well and I listened to his little noises while working the Rummage Sale. I did the best I could do. That's what I'm learning. Mrs. Kris (our neighbor) graciously offered to keep him during the afternoon. And I was grateful. It was good for him and good for me. I could focus, and help my husband. After a 12 hour day, we were home. We went to pick Jaxen up from next door and they offered to have us over for dinner. Such wonderful, sweet people. It was so nice not to have to cook dinner or even go out. We had a wonderful, relaxing dinner and then we came home and crashed...
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It is Sunday afternoon and we are home. Nik is asleep on the couch and Jaxen is asleep in his car seat. He is going on a 2 hour nap (yes, all 2 hours in his car seat - because that's the way we roll). I was pulled out of church this morning to console a crying baby. A baby who just needed his mom, and was fine once I was with him. So I sat in the nursery holding Jaxen instead of being in church. It was where I was needed and I was happy to oblige. I have missed him the last couple of days. I will probably take him to 'big church' with me tonight. Just to have him close.
Jaxen is awake and just finished eating. We had a picnic. Which meant I sat outside with him and fed him a bottle. We had a blanket and everything!
We are now listening to music. I have a Bush's Tea and am trying to finish this long, rambling blog post while enjoying the weather outside and watching/hearing my sweet baby boy. He has the hiccups. Which is a regular thing for him. He is going back and forth from playing with his burp rag, chewing his toys, blowing spit bubbles and trying to fit his entire fist in his mouth!
So that is where I am and why the blog has taken a back seat here lately. I will figure it all out - maybe - one day. And if not that is okay. It's balance. I'm learning... and doing the best I know how to do.
Tomorrow we go for Jaxen's 4 month check-up!
